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July 01, 2006
change hurts
i am experiencing many growing pains.
this week i moved out of the yellow house... the lovely home belonging to the Meiners, that has been my home for the past year.
Whenever big changes occur, I start to feel very blue. It happened when I graduated, it happened when I got engaged, and now it's happening again.
Last night, a flood of sentimental feelings accompanied the memories as I put things in boxes and bags (mostly I just put things in trash bags cause that's easier). It is during these times that I need my friends so badly. Amidst change my head feels tired with remembrance, sometimes regret, grief of time that is past and over, and the somber face of an unknown future.
For now, living in the unknown is one of my callings. Fortunately I know that I'm called to become a great wife for Stephen, who I love and adore. But that cannot be the end. As for my individual personhood, I am mostly at a loss, but thankful that I have a God who I can pray to and thankful that I can happily surrender the want, the fear, the question, and the struggle to Him.
Posted by tacyjane at July 1, 2006 10:33 AM
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Comments
Thank you for sharing this. It will help me pray for you. And, it gives me good things to consider as I've been nearly anxious for change here. The predictable routine is part of it -- It creates a cohesive strip along which time is lost from one month to the next and progress is not readily discernable. But I suppose it is the substance of the routine which distresses me. It is encouraging to know that out of nothing, much can be created. For instance, a thanksgiving within loss.Posted by: isaac s. at July 9, 2006 01:20 PM